9/13 My Future

So I've been wondering a lot about what I will do in my future. I mean, what I will do in a few months when I finish my studies. There are a few options, so I will list them and write positive/negative points about each.

1. Keep Studying

Pros: I get to learn more stuff, and I have a "name", which I can use to be influential.

Cons: I don't want to keep studying, I think it's meaningless. If there is anything I want to look up, I can probably do it by myself and without anyone to tell me to. I don't want to study something that I wouldn't like. And I wonder what I would like to study. Video games? Sociology?

2. Work in a Big Company

Pros: I get "experience" to put on my CV and gain some kind of working history for future projects. I can make a name too, and therefore use it as some kind of influence. And I get money, which can be useful.

Cons: I lose my time, a few years doing something I don't like and where I only learn about video games production and nothing else. I could get into capitalism which isn't really what I want.

3. Work Independently

Pros: I do what I want, and what I want is useful for everyone. I get to apply what I have been studied and can change the world with my games. I am motivated working. I could lead to awesome projects.

Cons: It costs money and I don't have any, so I would need some kind of advising since I'm not really good with money. I would need to find other people to work with me, which could be hard to find and pay. It would be really hard to have to work on everything.


So that's it. I'm mostly hesitating between 2 and 3, honestly. It could be tempting to do research, but I suppose it isn't my forte. I suppose the less crazy option would be 2. Maybe I could work for 2 or 3 years in a big company, and then when I pay off my debts I can take another loan and start my company or something like that? I need to see how these things work... anyway, I will have to work hard! lol

Oh, and I'm also thinking whether going to Toronto to be close to Eason or staying in Montreal. Economically there are reasons to go to Toronto, but Montreal has more video games companies. Hmmm... Let's see...

What People Think Of Me

"salut beau petit mec......"
"tu est cute mec..."
"belle keu mec"
"interessant........."
"u down to get sucked......"
"do you like older stocky masc men..."
"hey salut wow tres s......"
"Bonjour j'aime ton profil..."

I keep getting these messages. Seriously, THEY'RE FUCKING ANNOYING! I just want to remove my profiles on these websites, but sometimes I keep talking to a few friends I made over there, who are relatively nice. But I'm thinking of still getting away from this.

The only advantage of this is "to get sex whenever I want". And who knows when I will want to have sex? So I suppose I should keep these profiles just in case, and try to get away from all the weird remarks about me...

9/10 Can someone do something about this?

That was Victor's comment on a video about someone against gay rights.

So, can someone do something about all social problems? Yes, I will.

It sounds like a really strong and impossible statement. But it is possible. I have a working solution. The problem is how to implement this solution. How to change the society from the present "bad" to a future "good". That's what I will have to work on all my life.

So far, what have I done? I have done this blog, which reflects my quite honest thoughts over time on various subjects. I have a few people who have said or thought that I was an incredible person. I have at least one person who thinks that I can make the world a better place. And I have myself.

That's pretty much all I have. No one actually support me, but I have Khanh who usually argues with me. I also have everyone around me who I can observe and who help me test my hypotheses. But I don't have funding to complete my researches, I don't have a clear and working plan, and I don't have people who tell me that I should keep doing all of this. So I'm sometimes losing motivation.

But I suppose I gain my motivation back when I look at all the people around me who feel forced to say they believe in stuff, who feel forced to lie all the time, and who feel forced to influence others.

I thought of applying these into my field of study (video games). For example, I want to do a paper on influence (manipulation) in video games. So I'm reading a lot of stuff on influence and I think it is completely related and essential to my main goal.

So I can't do much right now, because I'm still stuck in this capitalist society. But I will use any opportunity to think and elaborate on how to make this world a better place. Hopefully one day I can focus on this. And hopefully I will make a difference. But maybe the world is not ready for it yet...