I got this email from my new mom:
===
Hey -Me-,
I hope you are STILL sleeping.
Even though it was good that people came and had discussions and saw the films, I feel so sad that we didn't get to see the results of your incredible hard work last night.
I have been thinking about what happened a lot, especially in the context of the situation in our world right now. It's kind of a complicated idea about liberal power, but I am going to try to think carefully about it so I can explain what I'm thinking to you. I'll write you more about that later – or else you can help me figure it out when I see you next.
Above all, I want you to know that I am so humbled by, so impressed with, and so blown away by you. -Me-, there are a lot of smart, creative, and capable people who show off, who flaunt their abilities, or who seek out validation and recognition really aggressively. That's not surprising. We are taught we have to "sell ourselves" to succeed (when applying to schools, for example). This can make people feel like they have to be "experts" too. It's hard to go through school and not end up talking like an authority. I constantly am finding traces of that kind of socialization in my own behavior and in the way I talk. This relates to what I'm thinking about Kamanaka-san's visit, but I need to think more before I can explain that. Of course, I don't know you super-well or know what it feels like to be you, but from where I stand, you embody a kind of sincere detachment from the "bullshit" in our socialization. I aspire to be more like you in that way. I feel a kind of sadness about the subtitling work because it seems like your effort was "pure" in a context shaped by some "bullshit." But the problems I have with the context don't outweigh how much I appreciate what you did and how you did it!!!!!!!
You should sleep for two more days and enjoy looking at all your multi-colored t-shirts!
When you are ready to celebrate, let me know.
:)
a
===
Monday, May 30, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
5/25 Longest Day
So I was doing this rush translation of a Japanese movie from English to French, for Adrienne, and... well, I had to finish it for today, 6pm. So I didn't sleep for the past few days...
Sunday: woke up at 9:30am
I actually woke up half an hour early since I got confused with my math
Monday: slept from 2:30pm-7:30pm
when I woke up I thought it was 7:30am and I was so fucking scared I had slept all this time...
Wednesday: slept from 2:00am-4:00am
After not remembering my cellphone ringing, my alarm clock made it one of the worst waking ever! I was soooo tired, but it would be expected from a two hours night, right?
Anyway, now I guess I'm super tired but my roommate got some friends, so it's sort of party time even if I'm too tired to do anything and I'm just writing stuff here! and it's almost midnight, so I could say that in 86 hours I slept 7 hours. So it's 8% of the time instead of my regular 33% yay!
Special moments of the day:
An hour or so alone with Adrienne before the projection.
Matthew being a super nice and awesome guy!
Everyone was there, I even got to meet Akane, that girl who knows all of my friends on facebook!
Adrienne telling me that I could go sleep at her place if I was too tired.
Victor coming to me to say hi. (omg, I wasn't expecting that at all!)
Victor taking pictures of me and Adrienne (omg, that's even too much... or wait for the next one!)
Adrienne saying that I was her son, and that she was wondering who was the dad, and that maybe it was Victor? looooooool
The director of the movie and some kind of publisher asking me if I can give them my dvd right now, but Adrienne playing as an agent between us! :) awesome!
By the way, I love Adrienne, and I really do think she thinks of me as her son, seriously. We've been getting quite close, but we're not making any distance (like professor-student distance, kind of). I really would like her to be my mom, seriously, and so all I want is to get closer to her. I don't necessarily show it, cuz it would look creepy, but every time she does something like that I just love her more.
She wanted to pay for a taxi since I was tired, and so she also gave me money for getting some food (she wanted to give me $60!!! wooooah)
But anyway, I did wanted to cry when I came back and didn't want to sleep by myself... yeah :( I asked Khanh, but seems like he doesn't want tonight, which is fine... I'd like to sleep with someone else close to me, that's all. I guess I miss human interactions since I spent the last few days with none.
Ok, I think I pretty much said everything in a really quick way ! yahoooo! I'm proud of myself! :) now I'll get drunk super quick with the beer and party and my tiredness!
Sunday: woke up at 9:30am
I actually woke up half an hour early since I got confused with my math
Monday: slept from 2:30pm-7:30pm
when I woke up I thought it was 7:30am and I was so fucking scared I had slept all this time...
Wednesday: slept from 2:00am-4:00am
After not remembering my cellphone ringing, my alarm clock made it one of the worst waking ever! I was soooo tired, but it would be expected from a two hours night, right?
Anyway, now I guess I'm super tired but my roommate got some friends, so it's sort of party time even if I'm too tired to do anything and I'm just writing stuff here! and it's almost midnight, so I could say that in 86 hours I slept 7 hours. So it's 8% of the time instead of my regular 33% yay!
Special moments of the day:
An hour or so alone with Adrienne before the projection.
Matthew being a super nice and awesome guy!
Everyone was there, I even got to meet Akane, that girl who knows all of my friends on facebook!
Adrienne telling me that I could go sleep at her place if I was too tired.
Victor coming to me to say hi. (omg, I wasn't expecting that at all!)
Victor taking pictures of me and Adrienne (omg, that's even too much... or wait for the next one!)
Adrienne saying that I was her son, and that she was wondering who was the dad, and that maybe it was Victor? looooooool
The director of the movie and some kind of publisher asking me if I can give them my dvd right now, but Adrienne playing as an agent between us! :) awesome!
By the way, I love Adrienne, and I really do think she thinks of me as her son, seriously. We've been getting quite close, but we're not making any distance (like professor-student distance, kind of). I really would like her to be my mom, seriously, and so all I want is to get closer to her. I don't necessarily show it, cuz it would look creepy, but every time she does something like that I just love her more.
She wanted to pay for a taxi since I was tired, and so she also gave me money for getting some food (she wanted to give me $60!!! wooooah)
But anyway, I did wanted to cry when I came back and didn't want to sleep by myself... yeah :( I asked Khanh, but seems like he doesn't want tonight, which is fine... I'd like to sleep with someone else close to me, that's all. I guess I miss human interactions since I spent the last few days with none.
Ok, I think I pretty much said everything in a really quick way ! yahoooo! I'm proud of myself! :) now I'll get drunk super quick with the beer and party and my tiredness!
Monday, May 23, 2011
5/23 The Impossible Project
So Adrienne gave me this impossible project: translate a movie in less than 5 days. I thought it would be easy, since it's from English to French, but I was completely wrong. Today is the fourth day, I haven't slept at all, and... it feels fucking good! :D
I'm actually super stressed out because logically it is impossible to finish it on time. Or at least it is impossible to finish it "correctly". Yet, you know what? I'm still trying. And I think that's part of what defines human motivation. You can get a lot of motivation by trying to do the impossible.
Suppose I want to make the world a better place for everyone to live. That sounds impossible, since everyone gives up at some (early) point. But you know what? I will do it, I swear. I will finish my translation on time, and it will be damn good! I will shape the world into a better place for everyone to live. Yes, I will do it. You think I can't? Well, just look at me.
I'm actually super stressed out because logically it is impossible to finish it on time. Or at least it is impossible to finish it "correctly". Yet, you know what? I'm still trying. And I think that's part of what defines human motivation. You can get a lot of motivation by trying to do the impossible.
Suppose I want to make the world a better place for everyone to live. That sounds impossible, since everyone gives up at some (early) point. But you know what? I will do it, I swear. I will finish my translation on time, and it will be damn good! I will shape the world into a better place for everyone to live. Yes, I will do it. You think I can't? Well, just look at me.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
5/17 Next Game
Just a quick note to myself: My next game should be a "Same Game" game with unlimited blocks (new ones reappear all the time). New colors are coming progressively (around 12 colors?) Condition to die: when no more matches possible (i.e. too many colors)
I think this game is the most simple of the matching games, and so anyone can play it and think it is the best game ever............
I think this game is the most simple of the matching games, and so anyone can play it and think it is the best game ever............
Monday, May 16, 2011
5/15 Get Lost
So I've been translating like crazy lately, Adrienne gave me a summer "job", so it's cool. And well Adrienne loves me too much, which is cool since I love her as much. I wrote on my new facebook this: "I LOVE Adrienne. I mean, more than anyone else I ever loved in my life, and I don't just love her, I fantasize her as my mom. And I think she loves me reciprocally. Maybe I should try to stop having these thoughts? (but she's really not helping at all...)" but I guess just as this blog, nobody really reads anything I write :P
I still have these emails from the japanese manhunt members I contacted around two months ago. and I haven't answered yet. Well, I don't have time. Or maybe I don't find it interesting anymore. I feel like I have no idea where my life is going.
When I look back at my past (e.g. my previous posts on this blog) I can see how childish I was. For example, looking for a boyfriend and having all these stupid feelings was REALLY stupid. Now I've realized that. Yet whenever I start meeting someone I'm like "oh, he's hot, what if we were together?" I guess it's plainly some possessive thoughts, or capitalist, that I have and should get rid of. But at the same time I've reached a point where whenever I meet someone, even if he is hot, I don't care about that person, even as a friend. I mean, everyone is the same in the end. Everyone goes along the norms without criticizing them. which sucks. nobody can think.
Bu why am I saying that? I'm just making an excuse to explain why I don't want to be in a relationship. The only reason is that people expect too much from me in a relationship. And I just can't give them anything back. This looks crazy, but is true. I want to be like brothers in a relationship, not like "lovers". I want someone to live along me, but not someone exclusive I spend all my time with. Anyway, I don't want this possessive mentality that originated from the "West" through movies for example. And so that's why I was thinking of getting lost. Getting lost to a country where more people are different from this ideology.
Thailand? Vietnam? Philippines? I guess somewhere in Southeast Asia. Why? Because I feel it is right for me. Maybe because I saw too many (well all of them) movies of Apichatpong Weerasethakul, and it always makes me want to fly there right now. And then not only looking at all the beautiful landscapes, but first because some villages are still inaka, and that is exactly where I want to live. I want to live in the forest, far from any source of oppression. I want to be able to live freely with nothing to go in my way.
So I was thinking about Thailand from the movies, but then I met this Son guy on facebook, who is pretty nice and fun, and he's living in Vietnam. Also, vietnamese is much easier to learn than thai since it is written in roman alphabet and somewhat close to chinese and french, so I might give it a try! :) I'd actually really like to go to Vietnam at the end of the summer, but I definitely won't have money at all, so I might just forget it... $1500 lol and it's going to Japan, so I might as well just go to Japan :P But well yeah, I realized I didn't want to live in Japan or something, because it looks too similar to here. It's the same thing with a different language, and probably even more capitalist... :/ I want a complete change of air, something inaka and lost. I want to be lost.
So I should probably think about teaching English or French in Vietnam? :) Right after I graduate from UdeM? That would be awesome! :D But by then I know Son will have forgot me, I will start to dislike Vietnam, like something else, etc. Anyway, I don't have any choice right now, I'm stuck in Montreal for a year, so I might as well try to save money for afterwards! And start learning new languages, just in case! :)
Anyway, I need to keep working on my translation for Adrienne. I told myself I would send whatever I have tonight, so that's what I will do!
Good night folks!
I still have these emails from the japanese manhunt members I contacted around two months ago. and I haven't answered yet. Well, I don't have time. Or maybe I don't find it interesting anymore. I feel like I have no idea where my life is going.
When I look back at my past (e.g. my previous posts on this blog) I can see how childish I was. For example, looking for a boyfriend and having all these stupid feelings was REALLY stupid. Now I've realized that. Yet whenever I start meeting someone I'm like "oh, he's hot, what if we were together?" I guess it's plainly some possessive thoughts, or capitalist, that I have and should get rid of. But at the same time I've reached a point where whenever I meet someone, even if he is hot, I don't care about that person, even as a friend. I mean, everyone is the same in the end. Everyone goes along the norms without criticizing them. which sucks. nobody can think.
Bu why am I saying that? I'm just making an excuse to explain why I don't want to be in a relationship. The only reason is that people expect too much from me in a relationship. And I just can't give them anything back. This looks crazy, but is true. I want to be like brothers in a relationship, not like "lovers". I want someone to live along me, but not someone exclusive I spend all my time with. Anyway, I don't want this possessive mentality that originated from the "West" through movies for example. And so that's why I was thinking of getting lost. Getting lost to a country where more people are different from this ideology.
Thailand? Vietnam? Philippines? I guess somewhere in Southeast Asia. Why? Because I feel it is right for me. Maybe because I saw too many (well all of them) movies of Apichatpong Weerasethakul, and it always makes me want to fly there right now. And then not only looking at all the beautiful landscapes, but first because some villages are still inaka, and that is exactly where I want to live. I want to live in the forest, far from any source of oppression. I want to be able to live freely with nothing to go in my way.
So I was thinking about Thailand from the movies, but then I met this Son guy on facebook, who is pretty nice and fun, and he's living in Vietnam. Also, vietnamese is much easier to learn than thai since it is written in roman alphabet and somewhat close to chinese and french, so I might give it a try! :) I'd actually really like to go to Vietnam at the end of the summer, but I definitely won't have money at all, so I might just forget it... $1500 lol and it's going to Japan, so I might as well just go to Japan :P But well yeah, I realized I didn't want to live in Japan or something, because it looks too similar to here. It's the same thing with a different language, and probably even more capitalist... :/ I want a complete change of air, something inaka and lost. I want to be lost.
So I should probably think about teaching English or French in Vietnam? :) Right after I graduate from UdeM? That would be awesome! :D But by then I know Son will have forgot me, I will start to dislike Vietnam, like something else, etc. Anyway, I don't have any choice right now, I'm stuck in Montreal for a year, so I might as well try to save money for afterwards! And start learning new languages, just in case! :)
Anyway, I need to keep working on my translation for Adrienne. I told myself I would send whatever I have tonight, so that's what I will do!
Good night folks!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
5/10 You Are Racist (Draft)
From TheOppressed
Me: Hi, this is my_name. And I'm oppressed. By everyone, like everyone.
Something that oppresses me is that You Are Racist.
Intro with Music
Me: I'm oppressed by you because you are racist even if you say you're not.
Stupid Character: Me? But I'm not racist. I love everyone in the world~~
Me: Uh uh, is that true? Then look at this:
SC turning head
Picture of poo
SC hiding his eyes, disgusted: Oh what's wrong with you? Why are you showing me this ugly thing?
Me: Because you are racist! If you look at an image of poop and think it is disgusting, then it proves you associate images with a feeling. Why are you scared of poop? It's the same as a flower, but you associate it with a negative image, and don't even try to find beauty in it.
SC: What are you talking about? Poop stinks, it's all brown and mushi, it's the most disgusting thing ever!
Me: Have you ever tried to smell poop and appreciate its odor? There is no rule that says poo is disgusting, it is just a common interpretation that your mom and friends share, but you don't have to believe it.
SC: Wait, it is a fact that nobodies like poop. So it is true.
Me: Some do like poop, they are called poopophile... feceophile... crapophile... shitophile... doodyphile... anyway, these people exist, and since they do, we have to come to the conclusion that poop is neither a good thing nor a bad one.
SC: Ok, but we are talking about racism here, not disgusting things.
Me: Well, if you react that way to a picture of poop, then the same process will occur for anything else. For example...
Picture of something super racist... someone super-known? like Obama?
SC: Oh, it's just Obama, I thought it was gonna be disgusting...
Me: And who is he?
SC: You don't know? lol, he's the first black president of the US, you know?
Me: And that makes you racist!
SC: What the?
Me: The first thing that came in your mind looking at him was his race, and so you associate black people with the black race. So you are racist.
SC: WHAT?? But I'm not racist, I don't hate black people!
Me: No no, it's not about if you like a race or not, racism is about identifying a physical trait and classifying it in a race. Obama's black skin made your brain put him into the "black people" category of races.
SC: Uh, and so saying Obama is of a black race makes me racist?
Me: Yes, because you think of him by his physical appearance instead of his person.
SC: Well he is black, how can I not see his skin color?
Me: Well, you can start by considering how the media describe him in a racist way, then making a mental effort to suppress this racist image of him that even your friends share. Tell yourself that he isn't black or american, but he is a human being of the planet earth. And think the same way of everyone.
SC: so... a "human being of the planet earth"? but then everyone would be described the same way!?
Me: Exactly. We wouldn't need to describe people from their races, and so we wouldn't need to think of them as part of a race.
SC: And then racism is gone?
Me: Well, it will take a long time before everyone think that way, so until then... you are racist!
end... lol
Notes: The poop example would go more into something else about open-mindedness, so maybe I could find another example? But it's a bit hard...
The second half is a bit boring, need to insert many more jokes
Is this too long? I feel like Me is only talking in a monologue, I might have to find ways to have both exchange more
Me: Hi, this is my_name. And I'm oppressed. By everyone, like everyone.
Something that oppresses me is that You Are Racist.
Intro with Music
Me: I'm oppressed by you because you are racist even if you say you're not.
Stupid Character: Me? But I'm not racist. I love everyone in the world~~
Me: Uh uh, is that true? Then look at this:
SC turning head
Picture of poo
SC hiding his eyes, disgusted: Oh what's wrong with you? Why are you showing me this ugly thing?
Me: Because you are racist! If you look at an image of poop and think it is disgusting, then it proves you associate images with a feeling. Why are you scared of poop? It's the same as a flower, but you associate it with a negative image, and don't even try to find beauty in it.
SC: What are you talking about? Poop stinks, it's all brown and mushi, it's the most disgusting thing ever!
Me: Have you ever tried to smell poop and appreciate its odor? There is no rule that says poo is disgusting, it is just a common interpretation that your mom and friends share, but you don't have to believe it.
SC: Wait, it is a fact that nobodies like poop. So it is true.
Me: Some do like poop, they are called poopophile... feceophile... crapophile... shitophile... doodyphile... anyway, these people exist, and since they do, we have to come to the conclusion that poop is neither a good thing nor a bad one.
SC: Ok, but we are talking about racism here, not disgusting things.
Me: Well, if you react that way to a picture of poop, then the same process will occur for anything else. For example...
Picture of something super racist... someone super-known? like Obama?
SC: Oh, it's just Obama, I thought it was gonna be disgusting...
Me: And who is he?
SC: You don't know? lol, he's the first black president of the US, you know?
Me: And that makes you racist!
SC: What the?
Me: The first thing that came in your mind looking at him was his race, and so you associate black people with the black race. So you are racist.
SC: WHAT?? But I'm not racist, I don't hate black people!
Me: No no, it's not about if you like a race or not, racism is about identifying a physical trait and classifying it in a race. Obama's black skin made your brain put him into the "black people" category of races.
SC: Uh, and so saying Obama is of a black race makes me racist?
Me: Yes, because you think of him by his physical appearance instead of his person.
SC: Well he is black, how can I not see his skin color?
Me: Well, you can start by considering how the media describe him in a racist way, then making a mental effort to suppress this racist image of him that even your friends share. Tell yourself that he isn't black or american, but he is a human being of the planet earth. And think the same way of everyone.
SC: so... a "human being of the planet earth"? but then everyone would be described the same way!?
Me: Exactly. We wouldn't need to describe people from their races, and so we wouldn't need to think of them as part of a race.
SC: And then racism is gone?
Me: Well, it will take a long time before everyone think that way, so until then... you are racist!
end... lol
Notes: The poop example would go more into something else about open-mindedness, so maybe I could find another example? But it's a bit hard...
The second half is a bit boring, need to insert many more jokes
Is this too long? I feel like Me is only talking in a monologue, I might have to find ways to have both exchange more
Monday, May 9, 2011
5/9 I am oppressed
So I called today to know what happened with my application, and she answered me that the answers were sent, and so that I should receive it this week... :/ hmmm... I'm stressed now.
I don't really know whether or not I want to be accepted. I guess it would be better if I was, so I would get money from both the government and also the bank, since I asked for a kind of loan but I can't have the discounted one if I am not a student...
So, how does one make money? By working.
Wrong. You don't make money by working. You make money by working for a capitalist company/person/agency/etc.
Yes, if you want to have money, you need to depend on someone. You need to do something for someone, and that person will give you money in exchange of the work you did for them.
Now well, that's part of life and it's what everything does, so it's right. No it isn't. What about people who don't want to work for someone? For example, ME. I don't want to work for someone, I want to work for myself. So it's egocentric then. No, I want to work for everyone in the world, but I don't want someone to tell me what I should do. So give me money, but don't expect anything personal in return. I mean, I will not do it for you, I will do it for everyone.
So that's why I was thinking of these two projects: 1) Making free video games, asking for donations, and 2) making YouTube videos for helping making the world a better place, and making money out of people watching advertisement... oh well, it's better than nothing I guess.
So what's wrong with entering in a company and working for them to get money to live in this world? Well, since when do one has to give something back to "live"? Because we live in a capitalist society. This is the only reason. And since it works with people with power (those who work and get enough money to have an influential power) then the others have a really hard time living in the same society.
So here I go:
I am oppressed. I am oppressed by the society. I am oppressed by the close-mindedness of people. I am oppressed by the government. I am oppressed by capitalism. I am oppressed by people who think emotionally instead of rationally. I am oppressed by my family. I am oppressed by my friends. I am oppressed by everyone. I am oppressed.
I don't really know whether or not I want to be accepted. I guess it would be better if I was, so I would get money from both the government and also the bank, since I asked for a kind of loan but I can't have the discounted one if I am not a student...
So, how does one make money? By working.
Wrong. You don't make money by working. You make money by working for a capitalist company/person/agency/etc.
Yes, if you want to have money, you need to depend on someone. You need to do something for someone, and that person will give you money in exchange of the work you did for them.
Now well, that's part of life and it's what everything does, so it's right. No it isn't. What about people who don't want to work for someone? For example, ME. I don't want to work for someone, I want to work for myself. So it's egocentric then. No, I want to work for everyone in the world, but I don't want someone to tell me what I should do. So give me money, but don't expect anything personal in return. I mean, I will not do it for you, I will do it for everyone.
So that's why I was thinking of these two projects: 1) Making free video games, asking for donations, and 2) making YouTube videos for helping making the world a better place, and making money out of people watching advertisement... oh well, it's better than nothing I guess.
So what's wrong with entering in a company and working for them to get money to live in this world? Well, since when do one has to give something back to "live"? Because we live in a capitalist society. This is the only reason. And since it works with people with power (those who work and get enough money to have an influential power) then the others have a really hard time living in the same society.
So here I go:
I am oppressed. I am oppressed by the society. I am oppressed by the close-mindedness of people. I am oppressed by the government. I am oppressed by capitalism. I am oppressed by people who think emotionally instead of rationally. I am oppressed by my family. I am oppressed by my friends. I am oppressed by everyone. I am oppressed.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
5/5 "I Don't Need Help, You Do"
"I Don't Need Help, You Do"
I could end up all my videos like this. So that I don't get people telling me that I should consult or something. And it does show my general feeling, that I want to help out people to make them think deeper than what they are used to. I want to make them be able to be critical about all the stuff around them, and think in a rational way instead of being emotional.
My videos could be a thesis that I am working on. And so in each video I get to look at it on a different aspect. So what could be my thesis then? That human emotions make bad people? That everything should be seen rationally? That everything is neither good nor bad? This goes close to moral nihilism, and it looks good, so let's get close to it. People could go along with moral nihilism? We could have world peace with moral nihilism? Moral nihilism would solve every ethical problem?
Hmmmm, I really need to get a precise idea of what my goal with these videos would be. What I want to say is that when people think, they are not rational and miss a lot. If they could think with no emotion, then they would come up to much better solutions that would apply for every human. But this way of doing is the ONLY working solution, as having any emotion (thinking that something is good or bad) in it will not make it perfect for every human being. So instead of looking back at feelings and thoughts, at laws and moral ethics, we have to rationally deconstruct ethics and make it so that everyone can be free. By allowing everyone to be free while protect what is really physically harmful, then we will be able to live peacefully altogether. And no other way can make this happen. This is the only way to achieve world peace.
I could end up all my videos like this. So that I don't get people telling me that I should consult or something. And it does show my general feeling, that I want to help out people to make them think deeper than what they are used to. I want to make them be able to be critical about all the stuff around them, and think in a rational way instead of being emotional.
My videos could be a thesis that I am working on. And so in each video I get to look at it on a different aspect. So what could be my thesis then? That human emotions make bad people? That everything should be seen rationally? That everything is neither good nor bad? This goes close to moral nihilism, and it looks good, so let's get close to it. People could go along with moral nihilism? We could have world peace with moral nihilism? Moral nihilism would solve every ethical problem?
Hmmmm, I really need to get a precise idea of what my goal with these videos would be. What I want to say is that when people think, they are not rational and miss a lot. If they could think with no emotion, then they would come up to much better solutions that would apply for every human. But this way of doing is the ONLY working solution, as having any emotion (thinking that something is good or bad) in it will not make it perfect for every human being. So instead of looking back at feelings and thoughts, at laws and moral ethics, we have to rationally deconstruct ethics and make it so that everyone can be free. By allowing everyone to be free while protect what is really physically harmful, then we will be able to live peacefully altogether. And no other way can make this happen. This is the only way to achieve world peace.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
5/4 You Are Stupid
Hi!
Well I don't feel like writing on my blog at all, but I thought it would be a good idea since so much happens all the time and I never get it out.
So I've got a lot of projects for this summer, making video games, doing translations, subtitling, and maybe some other stuff (like a YouTube Channel). It's true I don't have much time for all of these, but most of all, I don't have any money. My bank account is now at 0.00. Or almost. But anyway, it means I need money, and since I can't ask anyone, I went to the bank and made an appointment for information on loans. So Friday I'm probably gonna have more money to finish the summer, and will have to pay it back later on, with interests... and I already have thousands of debt from my student years... so yeah, I'm in shit until I die!!
So in order to save money, I plan on living to someone else for free. Well, in exchange of sleeping in the same bed, of course. I'm actually hesitating between two guys, and my choice depends if I am taken in my master's diploma next year or not (yep, I still didn't get an answer...) If I do, I'm staying in Montreal, but if I'm not, I will probably go to Toronto. What does that mean? It means that I prefer the guy in Toronto but will have to do with the guy in Montreal if I don't have the choice. lol Anyway, I will be able to save a lot of money that way, and hopefully start paying my debts.
Except than that I'm pretty pissed off by people around me, mostly because they are stupid. And I think that comes from the fact that people have fake emotions instead of true ones. By true emotions, I mean physical reaction. For example, if you get hurt, then you feel pain, and that is an emotion. If you masturbate, then you feel joy, and that is an emotion. But if your dog dies, since there is no physical link between you and the dog, your stupid emotional reaction is completely fake. You just react that way in order to get people's attention or because you are stupid and do like everyone else does. Here is a conversation I had on my facebook following the death of bin Laden:
Me: Are you guys really enjoying someone's death?
Vinci: I think it's more like many people feel that "justice" is finally being served, more symbolic than anything else. Bin Laden hasn't been treated as a person but the embodiment of a counter-ideal since before 9/11.
Daniel: I agree with Vinci. And its not the first time something like this happens. People have double standards...
Me: Because obviously a murderer is a bad person who needs to be killed in return... for justice or revenge or maybe even peace... I know it happens all the time, but I just think it's something really scary in human thought. So if something bad happens in my life (rape, murder, 9/11, etc.) I have to hold deep "negative" emotions (hate for Bin Laden) until I find a way to make "peace" with these emotions (revenge) and finally become "positive" (joy over his death)? Wow, life is so simple.
Vinci: I understand what you're saying and I agree with it to a certain extent (ie. I'm highly against capital punishment), but I also think that you will think differently if ever (God forbid) someone you love was the victim of some sort of terrorism. It is NOT simple like that BECAUSE human emotions can't always be controlled. While you know that the chain of violence needs to stop somewhere, at the same time, why care so much for the life of one human being, who in turn didn't care at all when he murdered your loved ones, innocent people, or children who've never even had a hateful thought cross their minds before--there will be people who think like that too.
Marie-France: As much as I understand with people whom are relieved, I really don't think celebrating in the streets because someone was killed is a viable course of action.
Me: I think emotions can always be controlled, but people are weak and easily influenced, so they tend to react like in these american movies believing it is the way to do. THINK. Don't just copy around you. Just THINK by yourself first and ask yourself if you really need to be emotional in these "critical" situations. And the answer is no, you don't need to be emotional, you can just be rational, and if everyone would do that, there wouldn't even be terrorism or war or anything. But why being rational when you can just do like everyone else and be emotional? Since everyone else does it, it necessarily means that it is right!
Vinci: Like you say, if everyone could do it, there wouldn't be a problem. I don't think emotions are up to someone to control; you feel in reaction to something whether you want to or not. Your -following- course of action is for you to choose. Feeling an emotion is different than acting on your emotions. You can't stop yourself from feeling sad about the murder of innocent people, and I think it's only natural to also be angry. What is rational when logic can be subjective? Maybe it made logical sense for bin Laden to found al Qaeda, according to his own beliefs.
I'm not saying that because so many people are against bin Laden that his death is justified, nor am I saying that nobody should die when we can all just forgive and forget the past and live in harmony. I just think that something like this can't be overgeneralized; neither option would be fair to everyone when everyone is affected in different ways. Other than that, I can't really make any judgments since I'm just an observer... besides, this isn't just a matter of "revenge", it's politics. Politics never make sense to me.
Sergei: They should have tortured him to death film it and put it on youtube...
Me: Thanks Vinci for your continuous posts! :)
I think I am a "normal" human being yet I seriously don't have any emotion when everyone else does. Mostly because I came to realize that being emotional was stupid and actually made people regress. This is similar to science vs religion where a fact (rationality) is closer to the truth than an opinion/belief (subjectivity). And even if science can easily prove that religion is false, people still believe in religions and think it is right. Just like the emotion of crying when your lovely little cat dies is still considered to be right yet we all know that "a cat died" is a fact and that there is nothing we can do to change it (i.e. there is no need to cry or feel any emotion).
Now I'm just trying an idea I've got, I haven't thought much about it, so it might have some mistakes: Do people cry when they lose a cat because they want to SHOW their "sadness" to others? If you lose your cat and don't cry, then people will think you didn't like your cat. So you HAVE to cry, you have to show everyone else that you did have deep "love" towards that cat and that his loss greatly affects your life. Same thing with bin Laden, if you don't show the same enjoyment as the newspapers/politicians do, then people will think you are crazy and you won't have friends.
I don't think we necessarily have emotions on our own (at least not these, I consider physical pain for example as a "true emotion"), I think we have been made by people around us (society) to have certain emotions at certain moments and believe they are right. For example, I have to hate bin Laden because I heard on TV that he was a "bad" guy, that many people hate him, and that since most people agree with this negative opinion of him, I have to feel the same since I want to be part of this group of people who feel compassion towards the people he killed. So I have to hate bin Laden because I want to have friends (i.e. be part of a group of people with "american" emotions like on TV or in movies)...
------
And that's it, I got no answer... Anyway.
And then there were elections. I voted for Rhinoceros, because I think they are the most stupid government possible, and therefore the most capable of ruling a nation. But what happened from the "defeat" of all Quebeckers is that they started making all these separatist groups on facebook, and having really strong emotions about it. Seriously, reading the comments scared the hell out of me. For the first time in my life I felt like I was not in security here in Quebec. People could start attacking me just for believing they are stupid.
So I was thinking about starting a new YouTube Channel where I basically show my hate for people, or more specifically, explain why I think there is a huge leap to be done in human thought. For example, I'd like it to focus on human emotions and how these are not true as people may think. So I guess I could split my ideas into video segments, record me talking about it, and then put them on YouTube! That way, I hope I will get a lot of haters, and therefore people looking at my videos and thinking. And since I won't say shit (i.e. I will say things that are true/that makes sense) I feel like it doesn't matter if people are not ready to listen to me.
This idea comes from me always looking at people and finding them think ways that are really screwed up. And since I never found anyone who was thinking properly, it makes me believe that everyone is like this, that everyone is stupid. And yet I'm not? Well I don't know, that might only be that I'm super egocentric, or that I'm a genius. Let's find out! :)
Well I don't feel like writing on my blog at all, but I thought it would be a good idea since so much happens all the time and I never get it out.
So I've got a lot of projects for this summer, making video games, doing translations, subtitling, and maybe some other stuff (like a YouTube Channel). It's true I don't have much time for all of these, but most of all, I don't have any money. My bank account is now at 0.00. Or almost. But anyway, it means I need money, and since I can't ask anyone, I went to the bank and made an appointment for information on loans. So Friday I'm probably gonna have more money to finish the summer, and will have to pay it back later on, with interests... and I already have thousands of debt from my student years... so yeah, I'm in shit until I die!!
So in order to save money, I plan on living to someone else for free. Well, in exchange of sleeping in the same bed, of course. I'm actually hesitating between two guys, and my choice depends if I am taken in my master's diploma next year or not (yep, I still didn't get an answer...) If I do, I'm staying in Montreal, but if I'm not, I will probably go to Toronto. What does that mean? It means that I prefer the guy in Toronto but will have to do with the guy in Montreal if I don't have the choice. lol Anyway, I will be able to save a lot of money that way, and hopefully start paying my debts.
Except than that I'm pretty pissed off by people around me, mostly because they are stupid. And I think that comes from the fact that people have fake emotions instead of true ones. By true emotions, I mean physical reaction. For example, if you get hurt, then you feel pain, and that is an emotion. If you masturbate, then you feel joy, and that is an emotion. But if your dog dies, since there is no physical link between you and the dog, your stupid emotional reaction is completely fake. You just react that way in order to get people's attention or because you are stupid and do like everyone else does. Here is a conversation I had on my facebook following the death of bin Laden:
Me: Are you guys really enjoying someone's death?
Vinci: I think it's more like many people feel that "justice" is finally being served, more symbolic than anything else. Bin Laden hasn't been treated as a person but the embodiment of a counter-ideal since before 9/11.
Daniel: I agree with Vinci. And its not the first time something like this happens. People have double standards...
Me: Because obviously a murderer is a bad person who needs to be killed in return... for justice or revenge or maybe even peace... I know it happens all the time, but I just think it's something really scary in human thought. So if something bad happens in my life (rape, murder, 9/11, etc.) I have to hold deep "negative" emotions (hate for Bin Laden) until I find a way to make "peace" with these emotions (revenge) and finally become "positive" (joy over his death)? Wow, life is so simple.
Vinci: I understand what you're saying and I agree with it to a certain extent (ie. I'm highly against capital punishment), but I also think that you will think differently if ever (God forbid) someone you love was the victim of some sort of terrorism. It is NOT simple like that BECAUSE human emotions can't always be controlled. While you know that the chain of violence needs to stop somewhere, at the same time, why care so much for the life of one human being, who in turn didn't care at all when he murdered your loved ones, innocent people, or children who've never even had a hateful thought cross their minds before--there will be people who think like that too.
Marie-France: As much as I understand with people whom are relieved, I really don't think celebrating in the streets because someone was killed is a viable course of action.
Me: I think emotions can always be controlled, but people are weak and easily influenced, so they tend to react like in these american movies believing it is the way to do. THINK. Don't just copy around you. Just THINK by yourself first and ask yourself if you really need to be emotional in these "critical" situations. And the answer is no, you don't need to be emotional, you can just be rational, and if everyone would do that, there wouldn't even be terrorism or war or anything. But why being rational when you can just do like everyone else and be emotional? Since everyone else does it, it necessarily means that it is right!
Vinci: Like you say, if everyone could do it, there wouldn't be a problem. I don't think emotions are up to someone to control; you feel in reaction to something whether you want to or not. Your -following- course of action is for you to choose. Feeling an emotion is different than acting on your emotions. You can't stop yourself from feeling sad about the murder of innocent people, and I think it's only natural to also be angry. What is rational when logic can be subjective? Maybe it made logical sense for bin Laden to found al Qaeda, according to his own beliefs.
I'm not saying that because so many people are against bin Laden that his death is justified, nor am I saying that nobody should die when we can all just forgive and forget the past and live in harmony. I just think that something like this can't be overgeneralized; neither option would be fair to everyone when everyone is affected in different ways. Other than that, I can't really make any judgments since I'm just an observer... besides, this isn't just a matter of "revenge", it's politics. Politics never make sense to me.
Sergei: They should have tortured him to death film it and put it on youtube...
Me: Thanks Vinci for your continuous posts! :)
I think I am a "normal" human being yet I seriously don't have any emotion when everyone else does. Mostly because I came to realize that being emotional was stupid and actually made people regress. This is similar to science vs religion where a fact (rationality) is closer to the truth than an opinion/belief (subjectivity). And even if science can easily prove that religion is false, people still believe in religions and think it is right. Just like the emotion of crying when your lovely little cat dies is still considered to be right yet we all know that "a cat died" is a fact and that there is nothing we can do to change it (i.e. there is no need to cry or feel any emotion).
Now I'm just trying an idea I've got, I haven't thought much about it, so it might have some mistakes: Do people cry when they lose a cat because they want to SHOW their "sadness" to others? If you lose your cat and don't cry, then people will think you didn't like your cat. So you HAVE to cry, you have to show everyone else that you did have deep "love" towards that cat and that his loss greatly affects your life. Same thing with bin Laden, if you don't show the same enjoyment as the newspapers/politicians do, then people will think you are crazy and you won't have friends.
I don't think we necessarily have emotions on our own (at least not these, I consider physical pain for example as a "true emotion"), I think we have been made by people around us (society) to have certain emotions at certain moments and believe they are right. For example, I have to hate bin Laden because I heard on TV that he was a "bad" guy, that many people hate him, and that since most people agree with this negative opinion of him, I have to feel the same since I want to be part of this group of people who feel compassion towards the people he killed. So I have to hate bin Laden because I want to have friends (i.e. be part of a group of people with "american" emotions like on TV or in movies)...
------
And that's it, I got no answer... Anyway.
And then there were elections. I voted for Rhinoceros, because I think they are the most stupid government possible, and therefore the most capable of ruling a nation. But what happened from the "defeat" of all Quebeckers is that they started making all these separatist groups on facebook, and having really strong emotions about it. Seriously, reading the comments scared the hell out of me. For the first time in my life I felt like I was not in security here in Quebec. People could start attacking me just for believing they are stupid.
So I was thinking about starting a new YouTube Channel where I basically show my hate for people, or more specifically, explain why I think there is a huge leap to be done in human thought. For example, I'd like it to focus on human emotions and how these are not true as people may think. So I guess I could split my ideas into video segments, record me talking about it, and then put them on YouTube! That way, I hope I will get a lot of haters, and therefore people looking at my videos and thinking. And since I won't say shit (i.e. I will say things that are true/that makes sense) I feel like it doesn't matter if people are not ready to listen to me.
This idea comes from me always looking at people and finding them think ways that are really screwed up. And since I never found anyone who was thinking properly, it makes me believe that everyone is like this, that everyone is stupid. And yet I'm not? Well I don't know, that might only be that I'm super egocentric, or that I'm a genius. Let's find out! :)
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