5/30 Mom's Email

I got this email from my new mom:

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Hey -Me-,

I hope you are STILL sleeping.

Even though it was good that people came and had discussions and saw the films, I feel so sad that we didn't get to see the results of your incredible hard work last night.

I have been thinking about what happened a lot, especially in the context of the situation in our world right now. It's kind of a complicated idea about liberal power, but I am going to try to think carefully about it so I can explain what I'm thinking to you. I'll write you more about that later – or else you can help me figure it out when I see you next.

Above all, I want you to know that I am so humbled by, so impressed with, and so blown away by you. -Me-, there are a lot of smart, creative, and capable people who show off, who flaunt their abilities, or who seek out validation and recognition really aggressively. That's not surprising. We are taught we have to "sell ourselves" to succeed (when applying to schools, for example). This can make people feel like they have to be "experts" too. It's hard to go through school and not end up talking like an authority. I constantly am finding traces of that kind of socialization in my own behavior and in the way I talk. This relates to what I'm thinking about Kamanaka-san's visit, but I need to think more before I can explain that. Of course, I don't know you super-well or know what it feels like to be you, but from where I stand, you embody a kind of sincere detachment from the "bullshit" in our socialization. I aspire to be more like you in that way. I feel a kind of sadness about the subtitling work because it seems like your effort was "pure" in a context shaped by some "bullshit." But the problems I have with the context don't outweigh how much I appreciate what you did and how you did it!!!!!!!

You should sleep for two more days and enjoy looking at all your multi-colored t-shirts!

When you are ready to celebrate, let me know.
:)
a
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