Hi!
Well I don't feel like writing on my blog at all, but I thought it would be a good idea since so much happens all the time and I never get it out.
So I've got a lot of projects for this summer, making video games, doing translations, subtitling, and maybe some other stuff (like a YouTube Channel). It's true I don't have much time for all of these, but most of all, I don't have any money. My bank account is now at 0.00. Or almost. But anyway, it means I need money, and since I can't ask anyone, I went to the bank and made an appointment for information on loans. So Friday I'm probably gonna have more money to finish the summer, and will have to pay it back later on, with interests... and I already have thousands of debt from my student years... so yeah, I'm in shit until I die!!
So in order to save money, I plan on living to someone else for free. Well, in exchange of sleeping in the same bed, of course. I'm actually hesitating between two guys, and my choice depends if I am taken in my master's diploma next year or not (yep, I still didn't get an answer...) If I do, I'm staying in Montreal, but if I'm not, I will probably go to Toronto. What does that mean? It means that I prefer the guy in Toronto but will have to do with the guy in Montreal if I don't have the choice. lol Anyway, I will be able to save a lot of money that way, and hopefully start paying my debts.
Except than that I'm pretty pissed off by people around me, mostly because they are stupid. And I think that comes from the fact that people have fake emotions instead of true ones. By true emotions, I mean physical reaction. For example, if you get hurt, then you feel pain, and that is an emotion. If you masturbate, then you feel joy, and that is an emotion. But if your dog dies, since there is no physical link between you and the dog, your stupid emotional reaction is completely fake. You just react that way in order to get people's attention or because you are stupid and do like everyone else does. Here is a conversation I had on my facebook following the death of bin Laden:
Me: Are you guys really enjoying someone's death?
Vinci: I think it's more like many people feel that "justice" is finally being served, more symbolic than anything else. Bin Laden hasn't been treated as a person but the embodiment of a counter-ideal since before 9/11.
Daniel: I agree with Vinci. And its not the first time something like this happens. People have double standards...
Me: Because obviously a murderer is a bad person who needs to be killed in return... for justice or revenge or maybe even peace... I know it happens all the time, but I just think it's something really scary in human thought. So if something bad happens in my life (rape, murder, 9/11, etc.) I have to hold deep "negative" emotions (hate for Bin Laden) until I find a way to make "peace" with these emotions (revenge) and finally become "positive" (joy over his death)? Wow, life is so simple.
Vinci: I understand what you're saying and I agree with it to a certain extent (ie. I'm highly against capital punishment), but I also think that you will think differently if ever (God forbid) someone you love was the victim of some sort of terrorism. It is NOT simple like that BECAUSE human emotions can't always be controlled. While you know that the chain of violence needs to stop somewhere, at the same time, why care so much for the life of one human being, who in turn didn't care at all when he murdered your loved ones, innocent people, or children who've never even had a hateful thought cross their minds before--there will be people who think like that too.
Marie-France: As much as I understand with people whom are relieved, I really don't think celebrating in the streets because someone was killed is a viable course of action.
Me: I think emotions can always be controlled, but people are weak and easily influenced, so they tend to react like in these american movies believing it is the way to do. THINK. Don't just copy around you. Just THINK by yourself first and ask yourself if you really need to be emotional in these "critical" situations. And the answer is no, you don't need to be emotional, you can just be rational, and if everyone would do that, there wouldn't even be terrorism or war or anything. But why being rational when you can just do like everyone else and be emotional? Since everyone else does it, it necessarily means that it is right!
Vinci: Like you say, if everyone could do it, there wouldn't be a problem. I don't think emotions are up to someone to control; you feel in reaction to something whether you want to or not. Your -following- course of action is for you to choose. Feeling an emotion is different than acting on your emotions. You can't stop yourself from feeling sad about the murder of innocent people, and I think it's only natural to also be angry. What is rational when logic can be subjective? Maybe it made logical sense for bin Laden to found al Qaeda, according to his own beliefs.
I'm not saying that because so many people are against bin Laden that his death is justified, nor am I saying that nobody should die when we can all just forgive and forget the past and live in harmony. I just think that something like this can't be overgeneralized; neither option would be fair to everyone when everyone is affected in different ways. Other than that, I can't really make any judgments since I'm just an observer... besides, this isn't just a matter of "revenge", it's politics. Politics never make sense to me.
Sergei: They should have tortured him to death film it and put it on youtube...
Me: Thanks Vinci for your continuous posts! :)
I think I am a "normal" human being yet I seriously don't have any emotion when everyone else does. Mostly because I came to realize that being emotional was stupid and actually made people regress. This is similar to science vs religion where a fact (rationality) is closer to the truth than an opinion/belief (subjectivity). And even if science can easily prove that religion is false, people still believe in religions and think it is right. Just like the emotion of crying when your lovely little cat dies is still considered to be right yet we all know that "a cat died" is a fact and that there is nothing we can do to change it (i.e. there is no need to cry or feel any emotion).
Now I'm just trying an idea I've got, I haven't thought much about it, so it might have some mistakes: Do people cry when they lose a cat because they want to SHOW their "sadness" to others? If you lose your cat and don't cry, then people will think you didn't like your cat. So you HAVE to cry, you have to show everyone else that you did have deep "love" towards that cat and that his loss greatly affects your life. Same thing with bin Laden, if you don't show the same enjoyment as the newspapers/politicians do, then people will think you are crazy and you won't have friends.
I don't think we necessarily have emotions on our own (at least not these, I consider physical pain for example as a "true emotion"), I think we have been made by people around us (society) to have certain emotions at certain moments and believe they are right. For example, I have to hate bin Laden because I heard on TV that he was a "bad" guy, that many people hate him, and that since most people agree with this negative opinion of him, I have to feel the same since I want to be part of this group of people who feel compassion towards the people he killed. So I have to hate bin Laden because I want to have friends (i.e. be part of a group of people with "american" emotions like on TV or in movies)...
------
And that's it, I got no answer... Anyway.
And then there were elections. I voted for Rhinoceros, because I think they are the most stupid government possible, and therefore the most capable of ruling a nation. But what happened from the "defeat" of all Quebeckers is that they started making all these separatist groups on facebook, and having really strong emotions about it. Seriously, reading the comments scared the hell out of me. For the first time in my life I felt like I was not in security here in Quebec. People could start attacking me just for believing they are stupid.
So I was thinking about starting a new YouTube Channel where I basically show my hate for people, or more specifically, explain why I think there is a huge leap to be done in human thought. For example, I'd like it to focus on human emotions and how these are not true as people may think. So I guess I could split my ideas into video segments, record me talking about it, and then put them on YouTube! That way, I hope I will get a lot of haters, and therefore people looking at my videos and thinking. And since I won't say shit (i.e. I will say things that are true/that makes sense) I feel like it doesn't matter if people are not ready to listen to me.
This idea comes from me always looking at people and finding them think ways that are really screwed up. And since I never found anyone who was thinking properly, it makes me believe that everyone is like this, that everyone is stupid. And yet I'm not? Well I don't know, that might only be that I'm super egocentric, or that I'm a genius. Let's find out! :)
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