So I'm sick since two days, my soft palate is all red and hurting, and my while body suffers from it... So I'm super weak and all the stuff. Obviously this has to do with me being super stressed out lately, so here I'll tell you what's happening, hoping it will help me a little bit :)
So I've got no money but I don't want to work. It seems pretty stupid, right? Well it is stupid, but at the same time that's because I AM stupid. Like I said in my previous post, I don't want to work because I don't want to be ordered to do something to get money in exchange. I want to do what I like to do, and that is making video games. So that's what I want to do this summer. Spend the whole summer making video games. And it's starting pretty well!
Second thing I like to do is having sex. So I did that webcam thing, but it wasn't earning me enough. So I went quickly to plan B. Plan B is about finding a sugar daddy and getting enough money for the summer. Yeah, most people find it disgusting, or at least "immoral" or something, but as you start to understand me, I find it neither good or bad. What I like about it is that I could get enough money to let me do my own projects, which I really am motivated to do. Something else I like about it is that I would have sex and get to know at least someone else. This sounds stupid, but it's true. I like doing these things (having sex and meeting new people) so having a sugar daddy is something I would like to at least try.
So yesterday Paul came to my place and we had sex. He gave me $70, which will be enough to pay my rent for May. Now I need around $450 for next month, which means I need to sleep with around 6 to 9 person next month. That's pretty easy I think, but not really... For example, I wrote to Paul again and he told me that I wasn't really what he looked for. So I need to find someone else. I get some replies, but no one is telling me "Ok, tomorrow at 5pm" or something. I even contacted a guy I had sex with before asking him for money, and now he's asking me how much I excepted to get from doing this. lol FUCK YOU!! If you don't like me asking for money to have sex, well you have a problem. But anyway, you're not the only one with this immense problem.
So I'm stressed out about getting money and I'm sick, which stresses me out too. I mean, I can't work super efficiently on my game, and so it's making me late :S I'm super excited about my game, but then there's still a lot to do, and I wonder if I should announce it as soon as it's finished or if I should wait to have more games. Hmmm... Maybe I will put it online and then ask for fund for my other games, so that people know I am capable of something. Let's say one game a month, which is more than enough. So I could pledge that I will do 3 games in 3 months, and that I need $1500 ($500 a month) to pay for my rent, food, etc.
Anyway, let's see how things go and not worry too much about it. For example, if I am accepted next year for my DESS in video game design, then I will get money from the government. And if I don't get accepted, then I might just go work, or find someone to stay at and keep working and making video games. And I think I have some people who might be able to do that :) So I guess for now I'm just waiting for my answer for my DESS... They said by the end of April, but... oh well, maybe next week!
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