2/8 Not Answering

After yesterday's post, I've been thinking about this issue a bit more.

First thing, sometimes when I talk to someone I don't get any answer. That usually means that they don't want to talk to me anymore. Which is weird since they used to talk to me much more. So why is that? Well, I'm not entirely sure. But it is true that sometimes I stop talking to some people (well I tell them that I'm not interested anymore) because I realized that I did not like them. For example, there is Yifan, who I thought was a cool guy, but who was in reality a really stupid person. Well I told him I was only interested in being friends, and that's what happened. Well, if he talks to me, I will always answer. And if he wants to meet me, well I'll have to say no, because I have other things to do and hanging out with my friends is not that important right now. And then, after some time that I haven't seen one of my friend, we start not being friends anymore, and that stops there. But it seems like these people who don't answer me want to stop their friendship right away, just like this. Oh well, I suppose it's just that they are not really honest and do not understand that they are not interested in me anymore... Does it suck for them? No. Does it suck for me? Oh yes. :(

I suppose I'm really scared of being rejected. Maybe that's because I've been rejected so much when I was a kid. And now I want a "normal life", so I want people to like me. For example, I was a really shy person, so I tried to become more sociable, and I think I did it. I talk much more now, I'm not scared of meeting people I don't know, of saying what I think, etc. People thought I had a weak body so I worked out to show them that I could be strong. People like good looking people, so I've taken care of my appearance. Etc. All the time, I want people to like me. Is it working? I don't think so. Maybe...

Oh, and Ricardo finally answered me. He's talking in a friendly way, which I wasn't expecting at all. Well, that's cool! :)

Second thing, I need a lot of attention. That's probably because I don't have many friends or not close friends or whatever. But when I meet someone, I keep texting that person over and over again. And so, naturally, they get tired of me I suppose... :S Not a good thing when I want people to like me... Oh well, I suppose I'll find a way to text a bit less, or at least I should try :)

ok, that's it for today! gonna go back to my stuff!