So, I broke up with Eason. Well actually I don't even know if it was a breakup or just an email to say that we shouldn't meet again. Anyway, I don't really want to talk about it now, but since this is supposed to be a blog about my honest insights, well... I wanted to love him thinking that he was fit for me (since different) but I realized that there was no love between us and I could get it from someone else, so why bother with the distance and everything, while I could act as an adult for once and not make things complicated for both of us.
Done. Next topic please.
His name wasn't Hugo lol He speaks really fast so I heard that on his phone message, but it's Rodrigo. lol I met him again, after exchanging quite many texts during the week. It was another fun night. He fucked me twice, and every time my ass gets used more and more (i.e. the hole gets bigger lol) Anyway, the fucking part isn't what's really fun (well it is, but it's the same as with anyone else in some ways). I could go on and list all the great things I like about him (how he kisses, his awesome body, how nice he is to me and everyone else, etc.) but that's merely a result of the feeling I have: being in love.
Obviously, if you know me (and I know you don't, but it's okay), I'm trying to get this feeling aside. I mean, I might love him and everything, but he's 15 years older and probably expect an adult out of me, while I'm just a stupid teenager who can't do anything right. Khanh helped me a lot to make me more mature, but I'm still acting recklessly and say things without thinking. And that's probably not something this Rodrigo would like.
But on the other way, there's also this Yifan who's been really annoying about meeting me more and more. I mean, I fucked him last Thursday and he liked it so much (well, I liked it too) that he keeps asking for me. More? No, sorry, I don't have time for a 19yo kid who wants a bf who will do everything for him. I don't want to lose my time with teenage drama like I used to. And that's probably why I've been liking adult men more lately. I mean, a mature man is someone who is serious about life and his decisions, who is able to think more than just up to his nose, etc. And even though I said I wasn't an adult anymore, I don't think I'm a teenager anymore. Probably a young adult. Funny thing.
I mean, I've got to think about life and not just me. So instead of thinking what I want to study and what I want to do (e.g. start a game company), I have to think about what I should do with my life (e.g. finish my studies, pay my student debts, get enough money and experience to start a company, etc.) I suppose one of the reason I didn't want to think differently was because I didn't want to make choices. I mean, once you choose something, it's too late, you made the choice and have lost some time with it. You can try something else after it, but you're taking time and you've only got one life, so you have to hurry if you want to do anything.
I was looking at his profile on facebook... And someone wrote something on his wall, and it's about me! lmao
Ah mon beau Rodrigo!! Bonne fete mon bel homme!! Je peux juste dire combien je suis fier de tout ce que tu as pu accomplir ces dernieres années. Tu me sembles heureux et en parfaite santé, cette année jte souhaite un beau ptit garcon qui sera l'heureux chanceux de pouvoir faire partie de ta vie. Tu le mérites :) Pi si ten trouves pas, ben viarge on va slouer des films d'amour pi manger dla creme en glace à volonté en pleurant comme des beubés haha!! Love you mon ami xoxoxox
Hahaha, I hope I could be this "cute little boy who is gonna be the lucky one and be part of his life" :3 anyway, this is just a dream, I don't want to be too excited about it, since every time I'm in love it doesn't turn out in anything good lol
And cuz it's my favorite song of the week:
(I was listening to it before seeing Rodrigo last Friday, and... I had a good feeling ;) )
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