And so we met. He was with Justin, the friend who came last weekend, and I was with Khanh. And that is probably why there were all these tensions. Well first we couldn't touch or kiss or anything since we were in a mall. Then there were a lot of people to take care of at the same time, especially me since I knew all of the three. I tried walking with Eason as much as I could, but it was really awkward. Why?
Well, Eason didn't seem too happy to see me. Or he probably was but he was upset too. According to Khanh, Justin said something like "Oh, I was really surprised to hear you came here after just so little time". With a bad English and an intonation that seemed like I was really stupid for coming. But anyway, I don't care, and I just took his words for a fact, not his intonation, while Khanh started to judge him with the way he said it. And I guess that's just one of the many misunderstandings. I mean, I was not there to judge them or anything, and I never really do that with people. I try to understand them, and whether they are "annoying" or "super nice", it doesn't matter to me, as they are people and I find them interesting. That's all. There's no use to judge someone.
I say that, because obviously Eason and Justin talked to each other before seeing me. And it clearly affected the mood. Like "hey, Francis came to Toronto!" with an happy mood followed by a "what? why the fuck he is still here? what does he want? to follow you everywhere like a little dog?" from his friend can change all his perception of it. And it probably did. So yes, from my point of view at least, Eason was mad at me not only because I disrupted his plans and everything, but also because his friend/s influenced him to think like this. And to make lies maybe?
Because I am not sure what Eason told me was the complete truth. He usually always is completely honest with me, but on that day, I noticed what he said wasn't always making sense. For example, he had a party on that night, but I couldn't be invited? It was at his place, so what was wrong? What was he hiding? No matter what reason I try to put on this (exclusive party, pissed off of me, etc.) it doesn't really goo on with anything he told me... Anyway, like I said, I don't care, I might have been asking too much, but I was being honest, just wanting to know why I couldn't come, and though I was planning on staying the weekend, my goal was just to go to Toronto to see him a little bit for his birthday. So in the end, I was not sad or anything for not spending more time with him, I was just confused that he wouldn't be completely honest with me.
And that created a lot of scenarios in the car back home with Khanh. To some point his logic made me almost believe him, but during the night I came to the conclusion that I know Eason and trust him, since I know he can bu trusted. So even if he lied to me, he had a good reason and I will accept it. I did something that pissed him off, with or without his friend changing his mind, but I did something non rationally, so I don't mind his reaction. In fact, I wouldn't mind his reaction about anything, just like I wouldn't do for anyone. (yeah, moral nihilism) And I think Eason is like this too, but it's hard when your friend is living with you and always around you. So I guess I understand why he had to lie to me, or whatever he wasn't honest with. Just because of his friend. And maybe mine too.
We went in the gay village to sit down somewhere and talk, and I still felt awkward. I mean, I didn't want to do anything since I didn't want to upset Eason. Anyway, when we sat down and he went to order something for us, it took me a while to realize that he was standing there all alone. So I stood up and went to see him, but two friends showed up, and so I decided, since he wasn't alone anymore, to go back and sit down. That was stupid since I haven't been introduced to them, but anyway, I stood up again to go meet them, and we got our drinks, and the friends were gone, and we sat, me next to Eason since I wanted it that way (and had to ask Justin to change place).
So that's when I put my arm behind Eason. I guess I should have done it before, but I felt awkward, I had to have all the courage that Khanh gave me (probably out of some kind of jealousy, but anyway...) I thought he didn't feel right about it, but he did I think. (I had to ask him to be sure) Then at some point he touch my leg, and after a while he went closer to my body, and I hold him with my two arms. Anyway, I kind of asked him to kiss me lol But we did kiss a little bit, though I don't think he was really comfortable to kiss in front of Justin and Khanh. Anyway...
And finally we went to the subway station. Justin wanted to take a picture with my camera, but he seemed not to understand how it worked (I said don't touch anything but he did lol). We were asked to kiss by Justin, but Eason didn't want to, so we didn't. (I still have that moment on tape! lol) And so we said goodbyes and we left.
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