Hey there!
It's been some time since I wrote anything here, so maybe I should talk a little bit about what's been going on in my life lately? Well, why not? :P
First, I've been working on my portfolio a lot. Can't say I've been doing that night and day, but I've been on it as much as possible, and it's getting pretty neat :) In fact, I could actually say it is finished, but I want it to be perfect, so I'm still gonna work on it before making it "public" to my friends and the world :)
I've been having a lot of insomnia lately. I actually still don't know what it is from. It's definitely stress, as I'm having palpitations. But then, what's causing me this stress? Well, I suppose it's the simple fact that I know I won't be able to sleep because of insomnia is making me stress out. So when I notice I'm gonna have insomnia, like 30 minutes after I get into my bed, I just wake up and try to listen to music, eat something, go on Internet, etc. But it's really annoying. And the more I try to find out what's causing my insomnia (Rodrigo, a before-sleep supplement, being alone, being hungry, having a mental disease, etc.), the more it stresses me out...
I've seen Sebastien twice since NYE, and we've mostly just slept together (just me jerking him off, and me not cuming). I really like him, because he's extremely joyful, energetic and everything (well, he's 16), but he wants more than just a friend. He wants me to be his boyfriend, he keeps texting me like 30 times a day, and I don't have time for a boyfriend right now.
Just two days ago I told Yifan that I wasn't looking for a boyfriend, and he was like "what!? you're not my type of guy anyway" which clearly was a lie (well, not his first one, which adds to the fact that I don't like him), and then right after he writes on facebook "fuck my life" and stuff like this... oh man, you have so much to learn, but you will probably never take time to learn any of it since you don't think it could be of any use.
And then Rodrigo has been looking at my profile on facebook... which makes me think all sort of scenarios: maybe he misses me, maybe he will want to see me when he's back from his vacations, maybe he will try again with me, and won't do the same mistakes, blablabla... the kind of shit I think about before I go to sleep, hence the insomnia.
Khanh came back yesterday, he woke up pretty late and so I could talk to him a little bit :) This morning he asked me for some money, so I went to the bank to get $1000. It was actually pretty difficult, the lady asked me for 2 IDs, she counted the money so many times, had to see another lady, etc. man, just give me MY money!! lol So I'm gonna see Khanh tomorrow, I'll show him my website and resume, because he's one of my only friend who has guts to tell me something else than "oh, it's good!" It's kinda stressful, but I've been working hard so that even him could say that it's good. Well, I'm actually hoping he'll have negative feedback, because I want to improve it :)
Hmmm... what else? I've been having less sex. Well, I don't feel like I want any. I suppose I like my life as it is right now, and I don't need much more. I do get horny a little bit sometimes, to which I can watch porn, but since I hurt my dick, I try not to do it so often lol. I suppose I feel like I'd prefer sleeping with the same guy than with different ones all the time. And I prefer to get to know more people than have hookups. I made a few nice gay friends lately, not sure how long each will last, but it's still nice to just talk to people with no sex involved :)
Well, I think that's pretty much all of it! Haha, can't think of anything else to say :P I don't know what's gonna happen in my life in the next few days, but I'm just doing it one day at a time. Or whatever, who cares anyway. Oh, and I'm getting a lot of muscles. I'm gonna break the 180lbs line, which has been extremely difficult to achieve! lol
And now going to bed, hopefully my stomach is full now, so I'll be able to sleep :) Good night!
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