So last night me and Fan went to Unity again. It was fun I guess. Well, actually, it wasn't that much fun.
I like to play around, and he told me I could. So I did. We (or at least I and not really him) wanted to take back a guy from there for a threesome. When I found one (he was asian, which Fan said he didn't want, but he agreed) he didn't want to have a threesome (i.e. he only wanted to have sex with me). The next guy, I didn't have time to ask him, Fan left like a little baby and I had to go and take care of him... He was really sad I guess or something. Anyway, I just decided to go back home, we had some wild sex, the second time he put his finger in my ass. And then the next morning he fucked me. lol I'm just so bottom!
Anyway, later on I found on his cellphone that "if Francis is going to Japan in May then I'll break up". Not that I didn't know already, but when Fan saw me looking on his cellphone, he was really pissed off for me "finding his true feelings". Well, by true feelings, I guess he means that he doesn't love me. And for that, I already know. I don't love him either. He's almost the only person I still talk to, but I think it'd be much better to break up, I'd have more time to hook up and study and everything. A relationship is a lot of trouble and time, and doing it for someone I don't love who is supposed to let me sleep around but doesn't like it so much (and doesn't give me time to do it) is probably a stupid idea. He asked me to break up last week, and I know he's not serious at all and won't be, so why bother and spend so much time and energy when I could spend it with other people? Anyway, I guess I found all I wanted to know about him. Like I was saying in my previous post, now that I know most of his life, his way of thinking, etc. I don't really need anything more.
But anyway, this open relationship didn't work like I thought. I wanted to have sex with others sort of often, but I couldn't, he was way too close to me all the time, the only time I did it was in the morning and I didn't even tell him about it, and I actually lied when he asked me if I slept with other guys last week. Anyway...
Then Daishi texted me yesterday at the Chinese restaurant, and he wanted me to call him. I did, and it didn't finish well. He told me not to text him, call him, or talk to him ever again. I do understand, he is right that I act like an asshole with my friends lately, but I don't think it is wrong, I think it is just me, how I behave, and that's why he doesn't want to be in his life anymore. Anyway, I think I'll keep on going with this isolated life of mine until I feel like I've changed the society and created world peace in everyone's person. Obviously, that means I'll stay like this forever. But at least I hope what I will have worked on will have helped the world to be a better place to stay for good people like me. Because yes, I think my way of thinking is a good one, compared to others. I am not perfect, nor is anyone, but I know for sure that if everyone was thinking similarly to me, there wouldn't be any more problem in the world, or at least no social or political one.
Well, good luck Francis. It's gonna be a hard task!
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