My older brother came here two days ago. I realized I don't think of my family like everyone else. They are the only people I give myself the right to despise.
I hate him. I hate my mother too. And I think most of my other siblings are fucked up. Yet if they were not in my family, I wouldn't think of them that way. But because they are my family, because they are close to me (resemble me), I give myself the right to hate them, just like I hate myself. This was an idea I shared to my best friend some 6 years ago, but I got to see good things in my father and my second older brother. I came to appreciate them and accept them in my close-minded head.
But when my brother came here and talked about all these stupid prejudices he had, it made me hate him. I know it's not his fault, I know he "has" to act this way to "make friends" (i.e. be part of society), but that simply completely honestly annoys me... Why is he so eager to be that stupid?
Last Christmas, I didn't want to go back to see my family. My mind didn't change. I don't think I consider my family as special, except for what I just mentioned, I think of them as "mere friends", so friends I don't talk to much since I don't have time anyway...
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