So last night I had sex with Nok, a Vietnamese guy. It's funny because he didn't have much info, and only a picture of his pecs, but I decided to say yes pretty quickly. Well, to some point I was like "Who cares, if he's asian and has muscles, then let's try and see!" I thought I would get to see an old 45yo man with a super ugly face, but no... I saw a shirtless handsome young guy. He didn't recognize me at first (well my hair is different from the pictures) and so I was gonna go back if he didn't "like" me, but he wanted me to stay.
We had sex. I can't say it was anything special. I mean, I didn't have the "special bottom feeling" (prostate play) some guys do so well, but he liked physical contact, kissing, he didn't talk much during sex, it was intense, etc. Not every guy do these, but some do. But the reason why he was a great guy is that... he was a great guy. We talked a lot, but he was sooo nice to me!
Since he lives with his brother and he is still in the closet, he thought it would be better for me to leave. Well, actually, he asked me if I wanted to leave. I said yes, since I understood the situation, even if I also said I would have liked to stay. So I was at the door, ready to go out, and we would still talk. He felt bad about me going back on a bike, so he was really serious about paying me a taxi (which I obviously refused as seriously). And he hesitated for me to stay over. So I was gonna go, I tried to open the front door but I didn't know how, which he thought was funny, and so in the end he decided I should stay, and he didn't care what his brother would think. In the end, his brother didn't come back during the night (he went to his "mother's place").
So what I find really nice about this situation is that... he was ready to come out of the closet just for me to stay the night with him! We kept talking about a bunch of stuff, getting to know each other, and he is such a nice guy! :) And he had a really nice body and sex with him was great! I kept touching him during the night, so I didn't sleep much, and he was constantly woken up by me! lol Hopefully he's not too tired now... :/
But yeah, it made me think... if it was to get to it, would I want a relationship with him? I guess so. Would I stop having sex with others? I don't know... it's weird and stupid at thee same time. Just like the usual "I'm in love and would be ready for anything for him" while I know that "it's never gonna work since I'm so weird and need complete freedom". Or maybe I want to give it a new try, stop being egocentric and be an adult?
Anyway, I don't think I need much sex now. I've got two guys (Nok and Mak... similar names! lol) who I kind of feel the same way about them, and would maybe want a relationship with one of them. But yeah, I guess I'll just be myself, have feelings for them if I do, and have fun without thinking it could actually go into something.
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