I don't remember how many times I've been in love before... But I think the last time was with Andy. I wasn't in love with Fan, and that's probably why I decided to break up quickly. I think being in love is when the other guy also has love for you, and so even if it was like this at first with Andy, it changed. So I guess it's really the first time I am in love since a long time (Daishi last summer).
But since last year, I learned a lot. I learned a lot about myself. I know what I like and what I don't like about sex, I know what to expect in a relationship and what I want from the other person, and I know more about myself and the way I think. And most important, since I know more about myself, I also learned how to be honest and tell other people exactly how the hell I am thinking in my head. And I do not try to be someone else, I do not want to change for someone, but just be myself and have them like or dislike me.
So I went on gay411, hoping I would get a message or a view from Nok. And I didn't, so I looked at his profile (he was online). Minutes later I got a message, and so in the end he asked me to call him, which I did. We talked a bit and he asked me to call him back later, which I did, and we talked for an hour. I don't especially like to talk on the phone (I prefer in person), but I'm glad I talked that much with him :) And he already wants to talk to me again tomorrow, so I guess there is some love towards me! And so that is why I am in love, again!
Let's just hope I don't mess up this one too. And maybe he is not the right one or whatever. I don't know him that well yet, but I still have time! So let's not stress out too much about it and just see how it goes.
And he's older, so maybe he's more mature? (I think he's 26 but I'm not sure... all I know is that his younger brother is my age...)
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