2/6 Pedophilia

So, am I a pedophile? I have to say when I was younger (18yo or so), I did download and enjoyed watching pedophile porn. I read later on that it was just because I was still young, and that it is normal to do so. I haven't downloaded or watched anything like it thereafter, but I wanted to be sure if I was sexually attracted to children or not, so I was gonna download some pedophile porn, but the downloads were too slow and I gave up.

Now I think pedophilia is not only about being sexually attracted to children (which I think I am, since I'm attracted to pretty much anything seriously), but also about having an obsession and having the desire to have sex with a child. I do not think I have any of this feeling, as I believe if a 14 yo boy was asking me to have sex with him, I would just tell him that he can watch porn instead of doing it for real, as it is much safer (I got tested and am negative, but who knows since I'm a whore!)

I'm talking about that because today I went out (and had sex, was not intended) with a 18yo guy. Well, I was not 18 when I was in high school, so I suspect he might not have been 18, but less. It reminds me last summer I was talking to a guy who was 16 (he wrote on his profile he was 19, but he told me the truth?) So obviously if an underage guy wants to join that kind of website he'll put another age. The guy I had sex with might just be underage too, who knows? But I really did like being with him, he's quite funny and has a really nice body :) But did I just have sex with a kid? And does that make me a pedophile since I liked it and would like to do it again? I guess no, but at the same time it sure does. Being pedophile is just a matter of society norms, once again. Society decided what was considered to be underage and that anyone who liked underage children was a bad person who needs to go in prison... lol

Anyway, Daishi is coming here in three weeks, and I've got Fan all over all the time, so I'm really thinking about at least a temporary break up. I don't know, there's still a lot I don't know about Fan, but it's actually hard to get for nothing and not so interesting :P And Jorge (the Filipino guy I met today) was much less annoying and much nicer than Fan. Yup, I'm doing comparisons... and I definitely shouldn't!

Anyway, I really need to work my ass out to finish my application for my graduate diploma. I'm really tired, but have no other choice but to do it!