12/31 Moving

Uh... many things... let's start in chronological order...

Two days ago, I went to this Doan guy. It was the first guy I topped and I always thought I actually liked being top with this guy, so I was horny and wanted to top, so there he was (because he's not that popular I guess, an easy target...) So I went to his place, brought some beer. We had sex, it started to smell, but oh well, I was ok with it I guess. I was not so hard (well it was ok) and he was so tiny and soft lol Anyway, I didn't really enjoyed it at all. Mostly because he doesn't speak either French or English. And his apartment is in decomposition, so it doesn't give me a good idea of him. Anyway, when we're done with sex, I get this overly-affectionate but not talking 26yo lonely guy... great! The two first times I met him I was pretty lonely too, so I would cuddle him all the time. But now that I've met guys that are better than him, I didn't really want to give him any affection... anyway, sorry... I guess you should learn English or French and start making more friends before finding someone here who will want to love you...

Then yesterday, I texted Andy. We were supposed to do something this week, before school and work start back, but he's always away in Laval with his parents or, like yesterday, working... well I guess it's great, and I probably just have too much spare time so I'm in need of him more than he is. But he doesn't answer all of his texts (which is fine, he's probably busy or something... I don't care) It's just that I want to spend time with him someday and he's always busy with something... I should ask him to be my personal designer, as my clothing is sort of shitty (I mean, I don't really have any artistic sense or anything). And I kind of like his style, or at least what I've seen from his pics. But how do you ask someone to take care of your clothes? lol Hey Andy, you want to help me out buy new clothes? Or Hey Andy, you want to choose some clothes for me because I think I suck with clothes and you don't? Or something like that... anyway, I guess I'll just wait for school to start and I'll see how it goes. He does reply to most my texts, so I guess he's still interested in seeing me (at least as a friend, but that's what I'm looking for in the end), so it should work out some way or another. Let's fucking wait!!!!

So last night was my last night in my old apartment where I lived two years and a half. It was kinda shitty so I'm glad I'm moving with my best friend! :) So, yesterday, like a stupid stupid stupid jerk, I decided... wait, first, I found out on manhunt and gay411 that my roommate was gay. He looked at my profile like 4 times and maybe more. I'm sure it was him, pictures don't lie. Anyway, we never really talked, and I was never really attracted to him. But when I said that to my friend Stephen, he told me I should try out (I'm a slut you know?) And since last night was my last night there, I thought why not? I had nothing to lose and even if it didn't work out, I was gonna leave anyway. So I went downstairs at 1am, knocked and entered his room.  I was fucking stressed out and everything. He asked me how I got in, but hey, his door was opened. Anyway, I thought he knew who I was but he confused me with someone else. I told him I was leaving the next day, so that it was my last night here (lol) but then he asked me where I was moving. Anyway, I asked him if I could sit down on his bed, and he let me some space. To which I understood he would agree to have sex or something (well, he looked at my profile multiple times and he is on two of these gay hookup websites, so....) Anyway, when I started touching him, he realized who I really was... "Oh, that Francis" lol anyway, so I asked him if he wanted me to leave, and he said "uh, yes please". And so I left.

Rejected...

But fucking feeling bad about myself. Think about it. What the fuck did I just do? Anyway, I guess I shouldn't be feeling that bad about it, but I did enter in his room and wanted to have sex with him, without asking him first. I was like raping him! lol Anyway, it felt really weird afterwards, and I couldn't sleep at all. I was really stressed and everything, and the only way I could sleep was to think about something worst, like me killing myself or something. Anyway, I survived, he's still my friend on facebook (wonder if I should remove him or not, but whatever, I'll let him decide...) So in the end, I should think about other stuff, but it really did annoy me and stressed me the fuck out...

Tonight, I should go out with Fan to Unity for the New Year's Eve. I guess it'll be pretty much fun, since I really enjoy spending time with Fanny :) So I should get some sleep, stop being in a bad mood, and enjoy spending time with my boyfriend! lol

Anyway, talk to you later~~