12/14 Heartbroken

Last time I was heartbroken was with my first relationship, which was with Daniel and was strictly on Internet. I was stupid at that time, so for me loving someone was so important. But he wasn't present in my life, so I decided to break up because it made me sad. I was really sad about it. Which was stupid, but anyway. I've grown up.

Now it's probably the first time I spend so much time with someone and HE ditches me. It has always been me, or it wasn't so serious, so I feel really... heartbroken.

When you meet someone for the first few times, you can always expect the other to stop texting you, and so you understand that the "relationship" is over. But with Rodrigo... we were beyond that. I did not fear that he would just let me go like this. Especially not during a day when he was so eager to see me. I mean, I think yesterday he sent me like 30 texts, and HE was the one wanting to see me. He was clearly happy, he was looking forward to it so much.

Khanh tells me that he's been lying. That I should open my eyes. That I'm stubborn. But seriously, it doesn't make sense. He can't have been lying. This really is illogical. You want a proof? Ok, here are what he wrote me yesterday:

R: Hey bon matin mon bo bonhomme ca va?
Me: Ouais ça va et toi? Je viens de terminer maa dernière présentation de la session!! :)
R:Congrats mister
Me: Merci :) comment se passe ta première journée de la semaine?
R: Gym now
Toi
Me: Ah, tu commences tard aujourd'hui? :)
Je suis encore en cours lol pogné à l'école encore pour plus d'une heure :P
Mais comme je suis intelligent, je vais au gym au lieu d'aller à mon cours de l'après-midi! Lol
R: Pfffffff tu vas etre muscle mais ignorant lollll
Me: Haha, je suis déjà superr ultra méga intelligent :P il me reste juste à être musclé pour être l'homme parfait! Lol
R: Mmmmmm
Jai hate de voir ha ha
Me: Haha, mon entraîneur m'a dit que ça prendrait 3 ans :P faudra que tu sois patient! Lol
R: Dans 3 ans ma avoir 41 tu voudras pu de moi loll
Me: Haha, dans trois and je vais avoir 26 donc mes goûts vont être plus... matures lol
R: C justement a cet age la quon commence a aimer les pti jeunes ha ha ha
Me: Haha tu seras toujours jeune si tu conserves ton coeur d'enfant :P
C'est aussi à l'âge où on fait des bébés pour avoir l'air d'avoir une vie plus jeune :)
R: Tu viens tu me faire des bebes c soir?
Pis dormir avec ton gros animal wraaaaarrrrr
Me: Lol si tu promets de ne pas me manger :P tu penses finir vers quelle heure?
Tu ne réponds jamais quand je te demande quand tu finnis! Lol je peux aller t'attendre au salon vers 8h si tu veux :)

And then I got what I posted yesterday...

R: Hey suis vraiment desole mais je veux arreter ca la
Je me sens pas tres bien de te faire ca je veux pas te faire de la peine
Pis jaime mieux en rester la
Jespere tu men voudras pas trop
Desole :(
Me: Heu... Ok... J'ai manqué un bout, il y a un problème ? :S
R: No pass du tout suis desole
Me: Ok, je comprends pas vraiment et je veux pas te forcer à expliquer... Mais oui, je suis complètement perdu lol
R: Je men excuse vraiment
Me: Scuse moi de pas m'arrêter, mais c'est un problème avec nos âges? (réponds pas si tu veux pas!)

So yeah, try to figure it out and please tell me when you find the solution to the problem. Cuz I don't get it... and it's killing me.

I just deactivated my facebook account. I think it's gonna help me to disconnect with the world for a little while. I was thinking about deactivating it for some time, but I just kept it because we use it for school (to chat about projects and share documents, etc.) Since it's the end of the semester and we only have three more team projects, it might be okay not to have it anymore.

Oh, and I asked my friends on facebook to text/call me yesterday, and that stupid ex-roommate (I even forgot his name lol) wrote me something like "oh, you've got a lot of finals, eh? oh wait, do you even have finals?" omg, you really are annoying...

Anyway, I ate a sandwich for lunch, I'm still hungry but doesn't feel like eating anything. But I guess I'm getting better, although I'm pretty completely down. I'd like to just crawl in my bed, but I guess I'm gonna study for my exam tomorrow... I was gonna cry on the metro on my way back home, and I did when I arrived, and I am right now... can't believe this is happening. It just doesn't make any sense at all... :(