12/15

So Khanh is mad at me because I "keep lying"... I don't want to get into drama, but every time I say something he tries to see if I lie or not and as soon as he sees a lie he gets super mad at me... he never tries to understand or believe me, he just jumps to conclusion. Tonight when he said I was lying I told him to calm down. Seriously, he's way too stressed out and it affects him a lot... :( I think he's stressed about not having a job and no money, which anyone would stress for, but he keeps playing Diablo. I mean, it's a good stress reliever, but if he keeps playing it's really not gonna help him get rid of his stress... And I don't really know what to do, but I'll tell him next time I see him that he has to stop playing...

So, I went to Khanh's place last night. I was still really depressed and sad, and I wanted some help from him, but instead he started getting mad at me, saying that I'm a coward and that I never do anything for the people I "love", that he doesn't know how I'm treating him (like who I think he is, since he still thinks that there could be love between us), and that my birthday letter I gave him was all lies, only one side of the story and that I haven't changed at all...

So he shouted that I should just go and see Rodrigo, and that's what I did, I left him after hugging him and after he mumbled something.

I really hate when people get angry. I know they get their stress out, but I'm always scared. I mean, what is my way to get stress out? Have sex? Masturbate? Think? Write on this blog? Why don't I ever get angry when I'm stressed out and others do? :/

So I went at Rodrigo's place. I was kinda stressed out, since I didn't know if he was gonna be there (it was 9:30), if his roommate would be, so what I should say on the intercom, what I should say anyway, etc.

I went into his street and then I was like "oh, that car might actually be his and he'd see me walking lol" but it was a woman :P So I kept going, saw a man and a dog, and then I saw him on the street. He stopped, I waved at him, walked, he looked at me as if he was really confused about me being there (but in fact he just couldn't see me from that far). Then when I was close enough he said "oh it's you" and blablabla. Anyway, I got into his place, he he obviously didn't expect me and was really tired from another long day, but he took some time to talk to me.

So, first he said that the reason he wanted to stop was that he doesn't have time for me, and that I would be sad

oh shit, im feeling so tired right now, ill go to bed and try to continue this another time...